Musings Amongst The Vegetables;

 My parents came to visit from Alberta. We had a family thing yesterday, which was really nice. I get to see them a few more times before they go back, so I'm excited.

The main reason I wanted to write today is to mention the fact that I can't wait until Imogen Heap's new album comes out. "First Train Home" was put up on Youtube and it's even better than I was expecting. It's makes me want to spend a sunny day with a friend running around Toronto. I should do that more often. 
Went shopping with Manda today. Doing laundry at the moment. 
Bye!

 Manda's gone for a few weeks for work, so I have apartment to myself. I'm going to enjoy it. 

Hung out in Uptown Waterloo with Kay yesterday. We went to a new coffee shop that just opened up call "Coffee Culture," and we saw the hottest guy EVER. He was sitting by himself drinking a latte. Ugh, I wanted so bad to ask him out (99% sure he was gay). Too bad I suck at life and never dare myself to do that. 
Ran into Tracey while we were there. I've been meaning to hang out with her. We always talk about having sleep overs but never plan anything. I need to take more initiative when it comes to my social life. I also need to take more pictures and make more videos. 
Oh well, I'm happy at the moment. Bye.
 

 It's my day off. It's raining. What the hell? 
I refuse to let it ruin my weekend. I'm going to clean my entire apartment, buy a new bed (finally!), finish a painting, and pay rent. 
That's pretty much my Sunday. 

Oh, my hairdresser is super excited about me growing back my mullet. It's still really short but at least my hair is decent now. I'll post pictures later today.
Bye!

 This is for you Julie.

iSight, iMovie, bad lighting, and about 30 minutes. <3

 My hair is a mess. I want to grow it out again, but it's begging to be cut. Like now! 
It keeps refusing to look presentable. :(

( We eat popcorn and watch TV. )
This song is from Cocorosie's new tour EP named Coconuts, Plenty of Junkfood. It's so good it makes me happy and sad at the same time. I want to make a video for it so bad.

I took the day off work. Needed a day to myself.
Now it's raining so I can't really go out, or, at least I don't want to go out. Ordered pizza; I hate ordering food, it makes me feel so lazy.
It's currently 1pm and I have yet to shower. :(
Things I have planned for today:
-Paint
-Buy groceries
-Pick up a book for Manda's birthday bag.
-Do Laundry
-Nap

That's not too much to ask of myself. Hopefully I won't be too lazy to do it.

I'm craving change. I applied at some new positions, my current job is boring me.
I've also been thinking about moving to Toronto. The whole process is just a little daunting, but I'm seriously considering it.
Need to meet new people as well.

Totally in love with the new Patrick Wolf song "Hard Times".

So, I recently started smoking. It was actually a few months ago, but I still don't consider myself a full-time smoker. Not sure if that makes sense. I've always hated smokers but I was seeing a guy that smoked and I just started. Now I find myself enjoying the actual act of smoking. Bad...but so good.
I'm also starting to take more pictures. Hooray!

I've had the past few days off. Go back to work tomorrow.
I'm bored of my job. I make enough to live off with a little extra every month, but I want more. It's not just they pay. I'm bored of my job. I just sit around doing nothing for half the day. I feel like I'm wasting my life.
I want to travel more.
I want new/more friends.
I want a new routine.
I want to take more pictures.
I want to read more.
I want more, more more!
Damn, I'm selfish.

On a different note, I'm addicted to the HBO show True Blood. It's much better than I was expecting. A lot of graphic sex though.
OH, and I have a cold sore on my upper lip. NASTY!
Bye.

Even though I work for a company that deals mostly with the Xbox 360, I have always hated it. Recently, I have  come around to loving it. This is mostly due to two games. The game Lips, which is a singing game where you sing along to songs and it scores you based on how well you hit the right notes, and Dance Dance Revolution, which is obviously a dancing game. Manda and I have been playing these two games almost every night since I have come back to Canada. We've unlocked most of the songs in DDR3, but we still can't beat any song on expert. IT'S SO HARD!
I plan to make a video soon of updates on my life, cause I want to start making regular videos on Youtube. I don't know why, I just feel like it.

There is a small amount of nudity in this video (a little bum), so don't watch it at school or in class.
If you're at home, WATCH IT! It's beautiful.

The artist that made it is gay, or at least gay-friendly. I love what he did with all the voices of hate. They seem so violent compared to the peaceful video of gay men.

It's been beautiful.

I worked,
I laughed,
I cried,
I spent 8 hours on a bus ride through moutains,
 I swam in the ocean,
I burned my skin to a crisp,
I got stung by a sea urchin,
I went to a gay beach,
I stayed up for two days,
I met amazing life-long friends,
I went on a date last night,
We saw a movie and sang karaoke in a private booth, 
We fell in love and now I'm going home tomorrow.

I said no to everyone else's goodbye plans in order to spend my last full day and night with him.
We agreed not to regret the fact that we didn't go out sooner. We're just going to enjoy the last few days I have here.

Life is a trip.

It seems that lately I have only been posting when I'm depressed. Which sucks.
I'm insanely happy and content at the moment. I'm still working in the Philippines and loving every second of it. I've met amazing people and experienced moments that will change me as a person. I feel more confident and sure of myself than I did when I first came here.
I have a few more weeks left and I want to take as much away from living here as I can. I haven't been reading most of the entries because I only have internet access at work. I promise to catch up one day and I'll try to post more because too much is happening not to share it.
Also, I'm going by Francisco (my real name) more and more. I think I'm starting to like it.

Hopefully anyone that reads this is enjoying what they're doing with their life at the moment. Take more chances. I'm so glad that I'm starting to ignore my fears and just jumping into situations that I normally would not.
Love, love, love.

I wish I could rid myself of this constant negativity. I'm tired of feeling down. I'm in a tropical country meeting amazingly nice people and making friends that I would never have made back home, but I'm still finding ways to hate myself. Fuck.

I've been here in Manila for a week now and I'm loving it. It's been close to 30 degrees almost every day. The people here are the nicest that I have ever met. They open the door for you and greet you whenever you walk past them.
The exchange rate is awesome too so everything is really cheap. A meal at Mcdonalds is $2 canadian. Restaurants that would cost $50 per meal back home are $10 here. I love it!
The condos that they rented for us are much better than I expected and most of their channels are in English. The only thing I have been complaining about is the occasional humidity. My hair looks like shit.

It's official. I'm leaving for Manila on Wednesday and will be working there for about two months. I'm anxious about the length of time that I'm going for but I'm also super excited to explore the city on foot (apparently there's a really nice gay coffee shop near the apartment building that I'll be living in). The whole thing is really short notice (I could have said no but I need to take more chances in life). I'm starting to pack tomorrow. Getting shots and picking up my ticket on Monday. Saying my goodbyes and then I'm gone.
I have to admit that The Philippines is NOT a country that I would choose to visit if I were to travel. But since the company is paying for it, I couldn't say no.

I was looking back at some older entries and I realized that my entire journal is one mood swing after another. I really felt like deleting my entire account but I decided against it.
Instead I'll bore you with a story.
Near the end of October we had to do some training at work because Microsoft decided to upgrade the dashboard for the 360. At the same time we had a new group of people that were moved to day shift. On the last day of training I had my interview for my current position. After the interview I was told that I got the job so went back to the group of people that I was hanging out with (they were playing games on a console). I told one of my friends that I got the job and she ended up being really loud with her excitement. One of the guys (Enko) that had just moved over to day shift came over and asked why we were so excited and so I told him as well. I immediately had a crush on him. We started talking about my plans for the future and what I wanted to do in life. He then told me a large portion of his life story (which I found odd because he seemed really introverted and didn't talk very much. I'm not sure why he felt that he needed to tell me all those things). He also told me that he had gone to university for three years in Europe and that he planned to finish. After telling me what he wanted to do and where he wanted to move to after school, he said: "Now that I've told you my plans, you're going to have to follow me". That one comment made my crush a hundred times stronger. I know he didn't mean it, but to say something like that, even if your being sarcastic, just seems odd to me. I loved it though. Even if it meant nothing.
My new (and MUCH better) position started the next day. Because of it, I didn't really see him anymore. I would run into him every now and then. We ended up talking only for about 5 minutes every few weeks but whenever we did talk he always seem really interested. After three months of this, I decided that I liked him more than I was admitting and so I decided that I would ask him to hang out sometime outside of work. The last time we talked was at the end of January. I was going to ask him to hang out (I was 75% sure that he was gay but I didn't care if he wasn't. He seemed so different from everyone else that I wanted to know him), instead he told me that it was his last day of work. He was moving back to Serbia to finish school. The end.
I'm sure there's some lesson in there about getting to know people that you feel a pull towards before you lose your chance. But I didn't learn it. I'm still afraid to connect with people.